True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
