Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
