either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
