My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
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