you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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