3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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