I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
