they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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