you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
