So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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