I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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