True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
True college students do jello shots in the library
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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