I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
