So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
