My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
