He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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