kristin has been a bad kristin
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
