Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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