I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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