is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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