How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
