i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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