I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
