Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Drake has all the answers
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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