Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
