You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
