It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Come see our sink grown plant.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
