69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
