he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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