I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
