i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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