Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
