Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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