Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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