No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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