the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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