So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
