We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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