Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Randomize
