i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
