Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
