Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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