Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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