So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
