I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
