U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
