He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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