Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just want nice things and good sex
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
