As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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