that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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