I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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